There’s a special place in buzzword hell for Search Engine Optimization. Decent people are shelling out thousands to have hand-waving ‘SEO gurus’ magically move their websites up on the Google rankings. I think it’s bullshit. All of it.
You don’t need it in the first place
Businesses and individuals who break down and pay for SEO services are lazy, stupid, or both. If your business model actually depends on people coming to your website by typing in random words on Google, then your model is seriously flawed. Stop pretending that nobody is buying your product because your page rank is too low. Your product sucks.
Yes, you want people to be able to find your website if they know what they’re looking for. But if you and your web designer have half a brain between you, that really shouldn’t be a problem.
The Google algorithm isn’t moronic. It will find your website, even if you do nothing. Paying someone to submit your website to all the search engines is like paying someone to tell the paper boy where your new house is. Do it yourself.
You’re admitting that you suck
By paying for SEO, you’re saying that you’re too incompetent to actually market the website yourself. The service/product isn’t good enough that people would want to link to it, so you’re going to pay for link farms and illegitimate backlinks. Who are you to say that search engines are wrong; That your website actually deserves to rank higher? It reeks of arrogance, or perhaps that’s the link farms I’m smelling.
Also, you’re lining the pockets of some sleazy marketing type who’s laughing all the way to the bank at your stupidity. It sounds something like this.
“Haha, some loser just paid me $4000 for ‘SEO’. What a chump.”
“What did you actually do?”
“Changed his title tag and fed him some bullshit about synergy.”
“True, true. Let’s go buy some hookers.”
Do it yourself
Step 1: Cut a hole in the box. No, wait, wrong instructions. But seriously, make your title tag less than 10 words long and include your key phrase. Put your key phrase in the meta description and keywords. Put it in your body text twice per page. Get people to link to your site with that key phrase. There, I just saved you thousands of dollars. You’re welcome.